Love and Jealousy

Love, at the beginning is a game and at the end is seriousness. He can't be drawn but it must be do to know it. Religion didn't reject and the rules didn't forbid, because hearts is on the GOD's hand. He can make contradictory. If we talked about love, there are much love, there is love for Allah, love for human, even there is love for homeland, animal, etc depends on the definition of love. Love for human is different too.

There are love for man / woman, for our husband / wife, kids, mother, sister / brother and another people. Sometimes love can grow fast, sometimes can fade or love can be contrary slow to grow and slow to fade even there is love that hold out. The power of love in somebody are different and so with the period. True love between human are more intense if there are same characteristic among lovers.

This taste that push and makes love strong. It said by the great ulama Ibn Qayyim al - Jauziyah that lived in the middle of the 8th century (691 - 751 H / 1292 - 1350 M). If that so, love doesn't enough with the same characteristic with our couple's like but love must be realize and feel it with the partner.To avoid our love dreary, love created something that called "jealous" to remind couples about "me" so that both of them realize there are two "me" in their conversations and meet in one purpose not to make it one. Love can be draw as a bundling between hopes and worried. Love same as belief, that form as an effort to expose the truth. But, hopes and worried must be balance because if worried over than hopes, then will be born, over jealousy that can bury love while if there isn't hopes so the love doesn't warm and can dreary moreover their relationship can be broken. Feel of afraid and worried is a part of love substance, but it must be proportional, because if over he can make "blind jealousy" that is a feel of loss our love and sicerity our couple.

Remember! We must make different two kind of jealousy, (a) jealous that can make effort to maintain our marriage and dammed from anything that can destroy our marriage, dan (b) jealous that come from "third part" try to take our couple's sympathy and affection. If that so, there is jealous with the reason and there is jealous without reason. If jealous without reason it can't make right. It's a proof of "over worried plus somebody's defeat against himself. because love and sicerity can not be reach if there is force or pass through our suspicious and supervision. Love can be reach with struggled that covered with freedom and control. For us, control means our belief and our culture. ( From Pengantin Al - Quran, page 24 - 25 and 32 - 33)